User Profile
Add Friend
Add Note
Track User
Send Message
Send V-Gift
obituarymambo's Journal
Created on 2009-01-30 00:06:28 (#18286245), last updated 2009-06-06
0 comments received, 0 comments posted
Plus Account [Gift]
10 Journal Entries, 2 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | idcalaehlaeh |
|---|
BioI have been Traveling for three months now, staying in places for a week, sometimes a month, but not much longer, at times moving to a new place every night, a new state, playing songs and learning to sustain myself.
Dear Reader,
I am sensitive you see and have on my mind that I did not return a message to you. I wrote out a rather long winded message but did not
send it, but I am not creating excuses. I just pause to actually talk of myself, the best way of negating vanity is my reasoning. To tell you about myself, I current philosophy is paring up my studies in guitar which varies on topic with that of passing on a poetic philosophy (Philosophy found in poetry, instead of reading philosophy and putting it together with reading poetry also separate, I am more poetry focused.) I am trying to resolve my matters with post-modernism. You must first know my view of it being the act of schizophrenia being expressed through the limit of mediums, such as poetry, philosophy, or music, which I think is completely found in L'ocelle mare with Thomas's entangling off key beauty which is only acquired from a great awareness of the potential of the musics ugliness, as in any other form of post-modern medium. I feel since this is schizophrenic than it is open to be healed as I believe of those patients of the outside world with this ailment, therefore, I am trying to heal myself (mostly speaking of my spirit without attempting to isolate it because that would be without truth) as a medium. My music craves resolution with fervor, with an intensity of heat, unless warmth so it be. This must be learned, as which, this is my apprentice project in the medium of music soon to be healed. Will you still search me out when I am healed? This is all a matter of reverence, I respect your existence.
On the matters of the world, I find it hard to talk about due to my lack of attachment or my trial with the lack of attachment with worldly things. I work as a barista with declining hours needed to work, spend a lot of time with my music, thinking of ways of healing myself off and on. I write in a blog, which I may share with you eventually but do not usually share with very many people although it is open to the public and could be easily found instilling cleverness.
I moved here to Boston after living in Illinois for most of my life, being born in Florida, my parents split at the age of two, two the amount of years total estimated I have spent my dad not counting when my parents were together because that was preconsciousness. When I moved here to my fathers place in Tewksbury, Massachusetts he still abused alcohol, threw fits, fought with depression existing before his mother died but not as prominent and severe, abused his friends and family including me several times, and was arrested which was not a surprise. He allegedly drove our scooter onto a horse racing track while there was horse on it, he can tell great stories to about himself. I was later evicted from that house which was eventual and I moved into my cousins house into a city referred to "little Boston" by the Boston Globe called Lowell where Jack Kerouac spent his livelihood and where Edgar Allen Poe was spotted at the local bar. I did not have as good of luck as them due to stagnation partially involved with the blockage created by my previous experience with my father but also the influence of the life lived by my cousin in a basement dim lit playing video games, watching television, getting drunk and high, and fighting with friends and his girlfriends as forms of entertainment. I felt more of necessity than quiet urge to find my place to flourish my medium, since it was only two months prior I had released my album "The Day Before My Birthday."
I played my first show in Boston at The Whitehaus, which you may view on my myspace friends at a hoot, where I found a great amount of support. After living at my cousins for a month and driving my 50 cc scooter back and forth from Lowell to Boston for an hour on the money I made from collecting cans I decided to just stay. I had friends, I put in many applications and even more important I was "always offered a place to stay." I soon got a job at the local ice cream and coffee chain as a barista and scooper. I started in a band called Hello Shark shortly after playing drums meeting a great deal of people under the wing of Linc, and feeling as if I had home. I soon played many shows until having my first tour across the nation on buses and trains expensively after my scooter broke down. This scooter was later stolen right after the scooter shop called me telling my father bought a new scooter, which I then found out he was out of jail again for a day. I very little to share besides a new songs I just recorded, which I will share with you very soon.
II
This localnarrative is founded in
Jamaica Plain, a village of Boston, Massachusetts.
I have lived here for a fourth of the year and
will reside in an indepenedce recently earned
for all of those months I have resided here.
An anchor has not been part of the assumed
truth while living here, since I have been a
vagrant living on benches, in bushes, in wooded
areas in the city, in my car, and at the offering
of new found friends. I have found of making a
social base easy, making a musical kinship
challenging but in the same respect achieved
and progressing. I joined a band playing drums
not long after moving here, and only played one
show before moving to this strongly populated
region of artists, musicians and the like. Boston
is comparable to the size of Seattle and almost
as expensive as New York City, which forces a great
deal of pressure on vagrants to find a place in the
winter. I will sleep in a small space for the cold months.
This is the beginning of the explanation of the place
I find my personality developing.
Love is as real as you are,
Rimbaud was wrong when using
beauty in his words to press us:
"What a life! True life is elsewhere.
We are not in the world." which
means Kundera was wrong to follow,
these are the people who repressed
the idea of the present. Living in the
now seemed untapped as they would
see themselves in the reflection of
the local pond and their words in the
local mouth if they were present to
receive. Once I have received moments
gifts, I will spew the collection
and complete realism of the present
location in Jamaica Plain.
Change alone is unchanging,
life is struggle,
with this known,
it’s trust and character I need around me.
Who you choose to be around you lets you know who you are:
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”
“It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.”
"The world is a book and those who do not travel read only a page."
"Every moment is another chance to turn it all around."
"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."
"A single path among ten thousand trees,
A misty valley hidden among a thousand peaks.
Not yet autumn but already leaves are falling;
Not much rain but still the rocks grow dark.
With my basket I hunt for mushrooms;
With my bucket I draw pure spring water.
Unless you got lost on purpose
You would never get this far."
And and. Either or.
"...in the end everyone will be locked into a documented control grid where everything is documented, and if you get out of line they (the bank ran United States) can just turn off your chip for at that time every aspect of society will revolve around interactions with the chips. This is the picture that is painted for the future if you open your eyes to see it, a centralized one world economy where everyone's moves and everyone's transactions are tracked and monitored, all rights removed.
The most incredible aspect of all these totalitarian elements will not be forced upon the people, the people will demand them for the social manipulation of society through the generation of fear has completely detached humans from their sense of power and reality. A process which has gone on for centuries if not millenia: religion, patriotism, wealth, race, and every other form of arbitrary separatist identification thus conceit has served to form a controlled population utterly malleable in the hands of the few "Divide and Conquer" is the moto and as long as people continue to see themselves separate from everything else they lend themselves to being completely enslaved. The men behind the curtain know this and they also know if people ever really realize the truth of their relationship to nature and the truth of their personal power the entire manufactured Zeitgeist they prey upon will collapse like a house of cards.
The whole system we that live in drills into us that we are powerless, we are weak that our society is evil, that it is etc... that is all a big fat lie. We are beautiful, powerful, extraordinary. There is no reason why we cannot understand who we truly are, where we are going. There is no reason why the average individual cannot be fully empowered, we are incredibly powerful beings.
I think I spent thirty years of my life, the first thirty years I spent wanted to become good at things. I wanted to become good at things. I wanted to become good at tennis. I wanted to become good at school. I wanted to become great and I kind of viewed everything in that perspective. I am not ok the way I am but if I got good at things... I realized I had the game wrong. The game was to find out what I already was.
Now in our culture we have been trained for individual differences to stay on doubt, so you look at each person you see and the immediate thought is brighter, dumber, richer poorer and we make all of these dimensional distinctions and put them into categories and treat them that way and we get so we only see others as separate from ourselves in the ways which they are seperate and one of the dramatic characteristics of experience is being with another person and suddenly seeing the ways in which they are like you, not different from you and experiencing the fact which is essence in you is the essence in me is the one that there is no other, it is all one. I wasn't born Richard Albert, I was just born as a human being and I learned this whole business of who I am and whether or not I am good or bad or achieving or not.
The old appeals to racial, sexual, male chauvinism to rabid nationalist fervor are beginning not to work, the new consciousness is developing which sees the earth as a single organism and recognizes an organism at war with itself is doomed. "
ConnectInterests (4):
Friends [View Entries] Friends (46):
980iana, amorouspigeon, amudmb, azzek, bbb_rjt, blackberrykiss, bobbybudnick, crazy_curls, curiousdevil, deadxbunnies, elecktrobunny, emyday, feraltron, flockthecasbah, hpearl, infprehovot, intell4sale, jjrenee85, katiekuke, morningspirit, mystery_to_me, nativer, nekotenshi, phantomeor, pixie____blood, praxdax, quasij, ravencry, richie_c, rresol, sassicassi, shelistar, sizzlinspitz69, sjsimmons, snatchturkish, spiffychik9, srchin4clarity, swain_piglet, thebatcavesales, theevilheat, tinks_stunt_dbl, tzippy, uncertainaction, undeservedbyall, vespillo, xdxdaniellexhx
Friend of (6):
Communities [View Entries] Watching (0)
Feeds [View Entries] Watching (0)
